Journal – roger ingraham

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Ride the Waves

There is a chemistry experiment taking place,

one that boils deeper than the marrow in bone,

if I say too much, it may excite the mad scientist in you!

anything you desire, it is a fire tumbling forth to seek the Ultimate,

I cannot say for sure where it will go, how it will travel,

flame is not so easy to put in a box, a concept, nor is that all-consuming silence

yes, it’s always there. The silence is roaring, threatening to squelch out our little pretense from all sides, and from within.

Love is a fiery thing. If in my lunacy I kick the world, or throw my eyes like passion-lasers around, and fume in delirious silence,

If I roll out of bed in a burst of mania and think as if I’ve blown a fuse, loving and loving in love of love, and loving,

loving to love, Love, Oh Love (the one who is blessed, may He be in peace)

I hear a whip cracking, and the song continues!

Jan 15, 2012 | Categories:Unlisted | Leave A Comment »

If we have had an experiential taste of our totality, we are compelled to pursue this not only for ourselves but for everyone else. Our totality is the recognition of some profound and deeply true aspect of our being which is not subject to the losses and gains of this world ~ a place of expansive peace, well-being, contentment, love, creativity, intelligence (all aspects of the same.)

Having experienced that this possibility is not a myth but rather very possibly a fact, it is our unavoidable obligation to pursue this. Our life becomes an unavoidable sacrifice – our previous aspirations, our dreams of success in careers, our personal wants, our bodily wants – everything must takes its right place. From whatever lens we choose to see the world, whatever measure of goodness or value – the realization of our full being places tremendously high in value. Because it is at the heart of human desire, it can be said to be the most valuable thing there is. The collective need for this realization is undeniable. There’s the possibility of searching to never find, but nothing else compares.

So begins the “sacred quest.”

Now, this pursuit has unfolded for 5 years.

First there is a dimension of spirituality which deals with the miraculous and the impossible. These miracles occur. Healings, extrasensory perceptions, other powers. One thinks, maybe these strange powers or the people who wield these impossible powers have the prize. But it has turned out, in this case, that the bizarre and unknown haven’t offered fulfillment – only sensationalism and superficial change.

Then came the desire to become a good helper of people, to assist the world. One felt deeply, maybe this will earn me fulfillment. But when put into practice, there was a nagging problem. The act of helping others was largely a compensation – trying to fill a lack in me. There was an extra strain there, a trying beyond what was needed.

We exhaust the options – we’ve already given up fulfillment through cars, homes, lifestyles, fame, fortune, all the first worldly ones - and we begin to get the sense that maybe none of these avenues are going to ultimately work.

Where do we look now?

All the objects of the world are seen and interpreted through a lens of “me.” The lens of “me” is a superimposition of memory and ideas onto our perceptions – everything refers back to a “person” that is built up over time. In this moment, right now, if I were to look for this “me,” I don’t really find it. There are sensations happening, feelings, all 5 senses, etc. but these too are perceived.

So, what are we beginning to discover here?

Perception is the place at which true transformation happens.

So for example, a person whose lens is relationship-centered sees the whole world through the value judgements of what is good for their relationship. When their relationship is going well, they have the luxury of being happy – but if the relationship is going badly, they find themselves also feeling lack and loss. Meanwhile, a person who has a career-centered lens sees everything in the context of their career, often at the cost of relationships and people. The loss of their career is a big loss indeed (as so many statistics show of recent retirees with immediate health consequences).

So we now begin to see how important our perception is. What we center our personality on defines when we are happy and when we aren’t – it tells our energy when to flow and when to stop – it conditions our experience moment to moment! This is of tremendous import.

So we can try to change our lens through positive thinking. “I will attract abundance to my career.” But even with the power of positive thinking, we may find ourselves limited – things may not go as planned, we may still feel restricted, thinking too much, not feeling free. Freedom can’t belong to a limited goal-centered awareness.

Is it possible to retrain ourselves – to let go of the habit of this superimposed lens, let go of the conditioning of our perception, and allow our perceiving to at this moment return to its innocence – to relax the conditioning and let it unfold in it’s totality? If this habit can be released, then our energy will be free to flow regardless of our experiences. This question is a living answer.

As our perspective becomes more innocent, we can laugh at our previous efforts of seeking miracles. We begin to see the appearance of this daily moment itself as a miracle. Is this not miraculous and unexplainable? How did this arrive here? This color, these wide variety of sensations, this world that is in front of us. It falls under the complete definition of miracle.

Jan 20, 2011 | Categories:Journal, Living Talks | Comments Off

Words from Francis Lucille

Some inspiring words from Francis Lucille on asking and answering the big need in life – for discovering the source of love, happiness, and peace within:

What can be done besides just waiting? The answer is: everything possible. Investigate, meditate, seek the support and the company of a teacher who speaks to your heart and to your intelligence. Make your search for the Truth the first priority of your life. Seek it everywhere and at every moment. Try to live in accordance with it. Try to live in beauty: surround yourself with beautiful people, read beautiful books, listen to beautiful music. Follow your sense of happiness within yourself and within others. You are asking what to do as if you couldn’t see anything that could be done, and I see so many things that I don’t know where to start. When you are madly in love, you don’t spend too much time hesitating over the cheapest way to visit your beloved. Fall in love, deeper.

Jan 02, 2011 | Categories:Journal, True Self Teachings | Comments Off

Credo Mutwa South African Zulu Carrier of History

In February and March, I will be in South Africa and I’ll be collaborating with some great friends on a documentary that revolves around the wisdom and knowledge of South African Shamans and wise men. One such wise person that we may have the good fortune of meeting and interviewing is Credo Mutwa. His story is incredible and shocking. I watched this interview embedded below, where this Zulu History bearer tells his unique perspective of Zulu culture, his personal stories of extraterrestrial species, as well as, in some cases, his painful encounters with them. In preparation for a documentary planning meeting with my beloved friend Niklas Schrimpf, I was speaking with several people about this Credo Mutwa interview. I was saying that, no, I don’t find it unbelievable – but rather it seems like an acceptable possibility in my world. Meeting him will be all the more invitation to new possibilies. I invite you to watch this very fascinating interview and consider it for yourself.

Also, wait for it to load a bit and skip past the flashy UFO intro – try to get to the interview itself.

Dec 30, 2010 | Categories:News & Causes | Leave A Comment »

Hypothesis: We are relaxation alertness

Here is my hypothesis, and a general exploration I have been taking. I offer it for your interest:

Our mind is much more flexible than we think.

So, the first thing is this: we’re ALL ALMOST ALWAYS under the influence of what we can call different states of hypnosis. Get this. Every negative emotion accompanied by a strong story is a state of hypnosis where we become hypnotized by a negative story.

Maybe you’re having a bad day ~ your emotions all seem to point to these different problems around you and it seems logical that if you could only change your environment, then the experience of any irritations, negative sensations or thoughts would go away. But what if at this very moment, your well-being can be liberated from the external? What if your sense of peace and well-being can be freed from dependence on the world around you? Then – you no longer desperately need to succeed in life or change your world. You can, but you don’t need to. It won’t be the determining factor of your personal well-being.

SO I hypothesize that our well-being can be completely freed from dependence on storylines.

How do we liberate ourselves from this?

We must know the mind, and know relaxation.

Beta, Alpha, Theta, Delta.

Beta is everyday consciousness ~ mind chattering away. The negative thoughts are simply inductions given to us that we’ve adopted and are then repeating to ourselves. If we learn self-hypnosis, we can easily bring ourselves out of Beta and into Alpha range. In Alpha, the consciousness is alot more aware and alert in a slower and more approachable way. The mind-chatter has diminished largely, and is replaced by a palpable awareness.

Here’s a video to get you into an Alpha state. It’s called the “Banned Self-Hypnosis Video” but don’t let that scare you off. It already has over 1 million views and is worth watching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUFYJ2Nppfg

After viewing the video once, we can both share in noticing… what a difference! (Mind you that this video isn’t special, any hypnosis/meditation video or audio will suffice to get to the Alpha state) The mind has such an influence on experience. After the video, your brain waves should have noticeably shifted, and there should be a palpable difference in awareness, being in Alpha brain waves now. This process of going from Beta to Alpha ~ we can become familiar with this. Alpha is free of a large portion of mind-chatter, and therefore free of a large portion of negative emotions and thoughts. Children are oftentimes in Alpha ~ it is a very creative state of mind where the imagination is more vibrant, and learning absorption is enhanced.

Breathing for relaxation.

What is the moment? The moment is the truth. The moment is pure awareness, without induction.

“To get yourself into a good state of self-hypnosis, something that can enhance it further is to really engage in that moment. Feedback to yourself what you are experiencing at the moment. It might sound strange; however, see what happens when you tell yourself what it is that you are experiencing. You can just do it in your own head, as you are settling, breathing, beginning to relax, just engage in the moment.

Being engaged in the moment does not have to be exclusive to the time immediately prior to a self-hypnosis session.

You see when you really think about it, only this present moment exists. I think this is by far the most fascinating reason to put your attention on the present moment. Yesterday only exists as a memory, with all the unreliability we know to be true of memories; when you experienced yesterday, it was now. Tomorrow does not exist either, except in your imagination; when you experience tomorrow, it will be now. it.

A great way to engage more in this moment is to begin in this comfortable, aligned position (spine straight, hands on your thighs or at your sides, breathing comfortably.) With your eyes open or closed, allow yourself to become aware of the different sounds, sights, smells and sensations around you. Welcome, this is the present moment.”

Bibliography:

http://www.whatsonmybrain.com/self-hypnosis-adam-eason/

Dec 16, 2010 | Categories:Living Talks | Leave A Comment »

I give you my heart

I will write and write until my blood comes onto the words,
veins and sinews strung amidst the letters,
tugging on my heart,
until my heart is drawn from my chest out in horrific purity,
and wound up into the words,
beating and beating,
so raw and disgusting that you cannot look away,
something true is happening here and now,
there is nowhere else to look,
you must watch this here, now,
watch in horrific fascination, waiting for it to end,
so you can rest and try to get back to things.

But dear god, I am bleeding for you,
stay here with me,
everything I do is for you,
and my eyes wander up to you,
looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.
You are my light,
You are my light,
You are my light.

Dec 16, 2010 | Categories:Stories & Poems | 1 Comment »

Live Beyond the Edge Screening

Friday May 14th, Clearpoint Center in Stafford, CT hosted the very first screening of Live Beyond the Edge: edition 1 (4 inspiring short films). Photos from the screening are below! After the screening, I posted on my facebook “Returned from the “Live Beyond the Edge” screening, filled with a love in my heart – thank you to everyone who attended, physically and in spirit.”

Everyone watching, seated in the gallery and main room of Clearpoint center. Foreground on the right is Roger C. Ingraham (my father).

I am rewarded in the process of watching the films with others. The guided meditation film worked very well in a group screening experience. If people are open, the depth of the meditation can be intensified with a group. Many people commented on their feelings of peace and inspiration in the discussion afterwards.

In a circle, discussing the experience of the film and beginning to connect beyond the film medium. From left to right, Roger C. Ingraham (my father), Artist Angelina Hart, Founder of Clearpoint and fellow producer of Edition 1 of LBTE Steve Munn, Filmmaker Roger Ingraham, Jennifer Eazarsky, Devin Recchio, and Leo Rochetti.

In the circle discussion, people shared openly about themselves and, I felt that for many, as well as myself, this was a bright opportunity to affirm what we’ve already felt inside. The world is changing – we’re facing many challenges as individuals and collectively – and the deep urge to reach out and at the same time dive within, is something that needs affirmation.

Editor Christie Strong in the foreground, Painter Shannon McCarthy next, and Ella Ingraham (my mother).

There are many things I could point out about the screening – but I was most touched by the vibrant sensitivity that settled into the room after watching. There was a genuine listening and sharing happening. My heart felt open. The sense that a new opportunity is arising for all of us is something that could be felt in the room. And the films help to show us something that is often clouded by answers and words: that the only real way to harmonious community and a better world is through an immediate opportunity – of love and insight – starting with onesself.

Continued discussion into the night, drinking fresh spring water and delicious snacks prepared by Shannon McCarthy on the right here. Filmmaker Roger Ingraham on the left, speaking with Debra (back) of http://odinvillage.com/

The Clearpoint Center from the outside, in Stafford, CT where retreats, classes, and film screenings like this one regularly take place. Check out http://www.clearpointcenter.com

To close, here are a few of the responses to the experience of watching:

Shannon McCarthy: “Such a blessing!”

Steven Munn: ”Just watched “Live Beyond the Edge.” I feel inspired and grateful, my friend.”

Troy Peeples: Well done Roger! just watched the series online..keep it up, your positivity is contagious!

Looking forward to more screenings to come,

~ Roger Ingraham

May 31, 2010 | Categories:News & Causes | 1 Comment »

Exploring Knowledge in Direct Experience

The pursuit of truth comes from a deep longing for wholeness, for completeness. Truth is not to be used to achieve something else – to be subverted for any other goal or end. Truth is an end of its own. There is a sense of restfulness implied in truth & honesty – no longer needing to upkeep any falseness. The pursuit of truth is, of course, hindered by any kind of posturing: superimposed motives, forced efforts, belief structures, and conditioning. Consider that the nature of what is meant by “truth” is something that is already the case - it simply is the way things are, without effort – only needing to be seen directly, without the preconditioning, expectations, and judgments of our memory-self.

* * * *

In this exploration, we can limit our scope to unbiased direct experience. This is the first tenet of the “direct path” approach to truth. This “direct path” approach has been taught in the past by Jean Klein, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Ramana Maharshi, the founders of Tibetan Buddhism, and many others. Conventional knowledge says “I am body and mind. I was born and I die.” Conventional knowledge is based on the physical and objective world as supreme. The deep spiritual teachings take a different stance. They realize that the only way one can know the world is through the subjective tool of the mind – and the knowing tool itself is, in our direct experience, inseparably linked with all world-experience. Therefore, all world-knowledge and all experience is inherently biased. As a result, in order to perform an honest exploration of personal truth, one must inquire into the very means of knowing, the mind itself. To do this, one puts aside hearsay, second-hand knowledge, conventional explanations, and intellectual complication – and limits onesself to examining simple and direct experience.

Direct experience is a mesh of thoughts, sensations, and perceptions, inseparable – constantly changing. One way to describe and break down our experience is as the five senses – taste, touch, sight, hearing, smell — and two more subtle ways of experiencing: thought, and emotions. All of these sensations or perceptions take place in one experience, or one consciousness. This consciousness can only know the seemingly-solid 3d “external” world through these ever-changing sensations.

We can explore and notice that when we close our eyes, we may find it easier to be peaceful. The world in our mind becomes sparser and we are able to let go of the thoughts and worries of “the world”. Many different religions assert, in their own way, that the true nature of our consciousness is undivided and unlimited – borderless and formless. It is said that we are all born of God, and that God is unlimited and formless. We may notice that in order for an object to take on a reality in our consciousness, a thought of this object is required, which then gives it form and limitation. Before the thought, with eyes closed, the world within is actually less colored by the mind, and becomes a formless open eternity, an open expanse of peacefulness ~ then a thought comes in…and seems to disturb!

This is where exploration comes in. What is a thought? Do they need to be erased completely for peace to exist? Who is erasing a thought (Is it another thought saying it wants to erase…)?

This exploration isn’t merely intellectual conjecture – it’s meant to be done continuously as thoughts, sensations arise. It is meant as an experiential inquiry. The direct result is integration and insight. It causes an actual experiential integration of our thoughts, sensations, and perceptions – these things which we have said are “me.” My thoughts, my sensations, my emotions, my vision….This is what composes “me.” What happens if we were to discover that thoughts arose spontaneously out of Grace, and disappeared in that same Grace – if emotions were perfect and pure always, arising and subsiding as mysteriously as thoughts…these discoveries might change our view of ourselves…

To be continued….

in joy, R

Apr 16, 2010 | Categories:True Self Teachings | Comments Off

On the Brink

In my mind, a heavy drama unfolds.
The sad and constant drums of war-beat people seeking unity in common opposition,
The sirens of sadness building their high momentum for the wounded and dying,
I see a crowd of government and suited petty thieves, with drug-tumblers and grimy dirty,
Blips and short blinks of light in the night – Fearful sex-men and other gimmicks of not-knowing.

A dog chasing its tale in the living room, to the loving laughter of the bright angels,
All the scrappy fear-driven crimes of man feel like crumbs at the table of suffering.

It is crimes that weigh on the hearts of lovely giants, these crimes feel criminal,
Einstein feels the a guilty burden of atomic warfare clouding his awe-struck love,
And this loss, this burden on his light, is felt deeply across the world. Anger & outbursts.
To be a lover of harmony and science, and in one’s love, to have done wrong.
To have committed a crime against humanity. You see, it is wrong to love so freely.
As we have always suspected, love is up to no good. It would be better to sit in silence,
and choke one’s soul quietly. It would be better to sit on the sidelines.
It would be better to check thoroughly before one loves, double-check just to make sure.
With every love-thrown instinct, who knows what crimes might be unleashed upon the world?

I sit here, in my love, quaking. Wondering if I am to break this fragile game.
My heart trembles with possibility, at the next breath, at the next thought, at the next move.
Will he really go forward with it – this radical fiend of the universe, bearing the mark of the unknown?
He is a demon – or a child. He is not to be trusted. He is a heretic and a rabble-rouser.
He is a lover and a free spirit. I cannot quite figure him out but I am certain of one thing.
Judge and jury, this is a man who can no longer be reasoned with. He is beyond reason.
We must, if we are to make any progress – We must take him out.
I hate to say it but enough is enough.
Would you like your life shaken to its core? Do you really want your home to crumble?
Is it not enough to face your daily bills and duties – do you now need another rogue on the streets?
Tell him to be silent ~ Tell him to shut up. Send him somewhere small and cramped, where his voice will not be heard… Please, do not waste a moment. Not a moment.
This life demands your immediate action. Save yourselves, brothers. Save yourselves!

Then nothing!
Actively nothing!
The sound of breathing, in a love and stillness-drenched moment.
Just breathing.

Feb 05, 2010 | Categories:Stories & Poems | 1 Comment »

Values: Powerfully Redefine your wealth – Service to the whole.

1) Discover the broken financial system. Here is Zeitgeist Addendum, a film that bravely lays out in detail the system that’s no longer serving us, and an emerging transformation of consciousness. Challenging to watch, but a joy to share in a new vision: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7065205277695921912#

2) Gradually remove any financial support of businesses you don’t agree with – some to consider: the major banks (Citibank, JP Morgan Chase, Bank of America), the military, and major corporations. Shift your resources to ethical, local, & sustainable efforts that give back. This leads to actual profit for the whole.

3) Find new ways to share with others freely, through open systems like http://www.couchsurfing.org/ or through your daily actions. A new level of wealth comes in giving. In giving, we build and enable a new web of conscious interconnectedness into our lives.

4) Redefine profit, success, and wealth.

They say the rich and famous are often starving for love.

Redefinition of success: It is service. It is being connected to ourselves fully. It is impersonal and personal love.

We are all cells in a giant body. The happiest cells in the body are the ones playing their active role for the well-being of the whole. The cells with the most resources are the ones that are constantly sharing those resources elsewhere. In giving, there is receiving.

A tumor closes its walls, defending and hording for itself. Cancer is uncontrolled growth. Cancer is invasion and destruction of other tissues.

Amma is one in many prominent examples of a human “cell” who has opened the floodgates to giving freely – and focusing on love (which is the energy of connection): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lwTAYeyv9U

We are all interconnected ~ Realizing this is committing to open our love for the well-being of all. It is committing to our inner calling to be ourselves. It is committing to no longer violate our core. It is committing to own our intelligence, and our ability to discover our purpose in each moment. Our nature is oneness, an expansive liberated love. At each moment, we can let go of everything that isn’t that.

When we come into alignment with ourselves and loving service to the world, we begin to know that this is our true wealth, profit, success, and comfort.

with love,

Jan 26, 2010 | Categories:News & Causes | Leave A Comment »

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